First love

Yesterday I met (online) my first real love. It was college and I was very innocent and shy. We were only friends back then, but I was very much in love. Weird how that person has been a passenger in my head since, always returning when I was thinking of the strangest things.

I get easily infatuated, I admit. At first it was a struggle, but these days I treasure these impossible attractions as a luxury. I draw energy from the moments I see or meet someone who fires something in me - no matter if it purely physical or mental. As I've learned to accept being alone it is no loss when they evolve to nothing.

It has been a long a rugged way to where I am today. Single and 42 yes, but wiser and burned. After my first secret love in college I fell heavily in love in my twenties, got dumped after a few years and swore newer again. It was great while it lasted, but the heartache was almost too much for me. I don't know how, but I did get up again. And what was supposed to never happen again did after a few years. Wiser love, but just as deep and blind for me. I honestly did not know how to go on when it ended. Just the fact they could end it crushed me. While I understood and accepted that love ends without we having much say in the matter, I never accepted or forgave that they could end the friendship.

I never got over either of them. I wish them the best in the world and would take a bullet for them any day, but while time doesn't heal these wounds for me it does march unaffected on. I've found ways to occupy myself to overshadow those thoughts (and regrets). Taking one day at the time and trying to do a little good in the world while making sure I am happy too.

Internet provides an opportunity to re-connect with people form the past, and as someone who left the birth city early that also helps to relieve some wounds. Good past memories is good medicine against other not so good.

It is very true when they say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved. I would not be without any of my experiences - together they created who I am today. That still does not say it is easy. Especially when you find out you've never been loved the way you have loved others.

"I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity. Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules. Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being." [Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]

FaceBook here I come

I know, it's big brother all over. Everybody is doing it so what the heck - I want to do it too. If someone inside a mountain somewhere is logging all I write and report then I want to know if they calculate anything interesting! :) Poor sods.

So, I'm on FaceBook too. I'm mirroring this blog there, but this is still my main site.

"That's why the religious people are so freaked out about the Internet, not because of the smut but because NO religion can stand up to access to information." [Robert Carr]

Brief History of Disbelief

Jonathan Millers at BBC has made a great documentary of the history of disbelief. Lots of very interesting interviews and historic facts and you can watch some of it here: A Brief History of Disbelief. I especially liked the young boy saying "I was brought up to believe in God, but I have found my own way now." I can't imagine where I would have been today if I had been allowed and dared that realisation too at the age of 7. As a child I was taught in public school and by society to retract inwards to handle my sorrows and problems by talking to someone I did not see, but who all I knew said was there. I was schooled not to think critically and instead trained to blindly accept dogmatic faith and undocumented claims. For as long as I live I will be influenced by Christian stories and images because that was so dominant in my life when I was most susceptible to it and the most trustful.

I am saddened that intelligent adults were willing to abuse the trust of a child to implant their own personal religious belief. Religion and superstition will always be a part of human life and I like the fact that human society is so diverse. However, the value in something so personal is deluded and corrupted when it is only something you are trained to be, and not something you yourself have found to fit for you.

You should always be very sceptical to all who claim they have found any eternal answers.

"I certainly don't believe in the mythologies of our society, in heaven and hell, in God and angels, in Satan and demons. I've thought of myself as an 'atheist,' but that simply described what I didn't believe in, not what I did. Gradually, though, I became aware there was a movement called 'humanism,' which used that name because, to put it most simply, humanists believe that human beings produced the progressive advance of human society and also the ills that plague it. They believe that if the ills are to be alleviated, it is humanity that will have to do the job. They disbelieve in the influence of the supernatural on either the good or the bad of society." [Isaac Asimov, quoted in "2000 Years of Disbelief, Famous People with the Courage to Doubt", by James A. Haught, Prometheus Books, 1996]

With a licence to marry!

Today I received a letter from the County Governor of Oslo and Akershus with a certificate licensing me to, as a representative of the national secular humanist organisation, perform marriages and same sex partnerships in the kingdom of Norway. As more and more people find life, meaning and joy outside old religious doctrines and cold churches, secular ceremonies where humanity (and not superstition) is the centre gets more and more requested.

After a good course and a certification process by Human-Etisk Forbund (The Norwegian Humanist Association) I really look forward to the seven marriages I have scheduled so far for the summer. I know this is going to be a wonderful experience and that I will meet lots of great people. It is a luxury to be living in the best country in the world and having time and opportunity to participate in and experience everything I can.

Now that I have all my fellow licensed humanists all left for me is to find someone who is strong enough to live with me. :)

"That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life." [Paul Tournier]

Mark your calendars

March 10th is Xenu Day International! Who's Xenu? Find your alien costume and join the fun.

"How do you steam clams? Make fun of their religion." [Johnny Carson, stand-up monologue on NBC's "The Tonight Show"]

Two new fantastic American magazine articles

The first was the feature in Wired (November 2007 issue) titled:

NO HEAVEN. NO HELL. JUST SCIENCE.
Inside the crusade against religion.

I would recommend you buy your own copy, but you can also read it here.

The second feature article is in New Scientist (18 November 2006) titled:

THE BIG QUESTIONS
Life, Death, Reality, Free Will and The Theory of Everything

It starts with an article "IN PLACE OF GOD" (Can secular science ever oust religious belief - and should it even try?). There is a preview available here. Quote: "The world needs to wake up from the long nightmare of religion. [...] Anything we scientists can do to weaken the hold of religion should be done, and may in fact be our greatest contribution to civilisation." (Cosmologist Steven Weinberg, University of Texas)

Then from page 31 to 72 it goes into "THE BIGGEST QUESTIONS EVER ASKED":

• What is reality?
• Do we have free will?
• What is life?
• Is the universe deterministic?
• What is consciousness?
• Will we ever have a theory of everything?
• What happens after you die?
• What comes after humans?

Many of which are my favourite subjects. A great read sitting inside with a mug of tea listening to the fall storm outside. Enjoy, get a perspective!

"I do not believe life has a meaning, but I find it meaningful to live." [Levi Fragell, President IHEU]

Drawings of Prophet Mohammed and giving in to threats

It is impossible to walk through life without ever offending or be offended. Anybody expecting that is sadly deluded.

For reasons now unimportant, small Christian Danish and Norwegian newspapers/magazines printed drawings of Prophet Mohammed and started an outrage. It is important to understand that this stunt only was an unexpected trigger causing many different and complex conflicts and issues to boil over. We must not explain this away by blaming the drawings, there are bigger and more serious causes for the problems we now see.

In retrospect it is interesting to look at the development of the criticism - escalating as the violent outrage has happened. And not to forget the many forms of excuses that has been given to calm down the potent situation.

I am disappointed that threats of violence have allowed many to restrict their actions and speak. To what degree the drawings were disrespectful or not should be totally overshadowed by the violent reaction. No matter the lack of respect, we can and must not give in to religious violence! The modern Christian religion is today civilized not because of its holy scriptures and most dedicated believers, but despite them. More people than we dare to imagine (and thank) were robbed, tortured and killed to achieve the freedom and modern democracy we now have. We have to remind ourselves that no time was darker in Europe than when the churches ruled the Middle age.

I am saddened and frustrated by the anger, but not discouraged. We know that it helps to stand up, to dare go against the fanatics who try to violently impose their rules on others. No matter how hopeless it seems. We know women and dissenters are oppressed in many Muslim countries and we must not invalidate their struggle by giving in to this now. It is not going to be easy to change this, but we know from experience that it is possible and inevitable.

By threatening with violence the protesters have forced us to protect freedom of speech by doing what they protest. Giving in to such threats will only motivate more to do the same. And we will have taken two steps back instead of one ahead.

So, is provocation a sacred act? No, of course not. But humour is an important human ability to demystify and disarm dogmatic and oppressive religious tendencies. Humour is personal therapy, especially for former victims. I, inspired by the words of Voltaire, detest what the violated believers in Mohammed say, but I would give my life to make it possible for them to continue to say it.

"I rarely waste time in reading theological subjects... Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against such unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus. If it could be understood it would not answer their purpose. Their security is in their faculty of shedding darkness, like the scuttle-fish, thro' the element in which they move, and making it impenetrable to the eye of a pursuing enemy, and there they will sulk." [Thomas Jefferson]

Olympics about to start

Bread and circus to the people. Few things are less interesting that watching strangers running around competing. It frustrates me...

"Sure, there's still war in the Balkans, but the Supreme Being of the universe seems to have become shallow and spends all his time intervening in sporting events." [John Bloom (aka Joe Bob Briggs), comment after the Super bowl]

15,000 days!

Several years ago I stumbled upon a web page (now long lost) where you could calculate how many days you had lived. It also told you about upcoming anniversaries - and my next one was 15,000 days. Meaningless and fun enough trivia to qualify to be included in my digital calendar.

And today, long after I forgot all about it, my PDA beeps joyfully in my pocket and when I turn it on a reminder from the past blinks at me: You're 15.000 days today. Happy me! :)

This week has so far offered me 2 other good and 1 bad event. The bad is that I have received my first speeding ticket ever (photo box). I was doing so well and have really been committed to reach my personal goal of never getting a speeding ticket. I am very disappointed at myself and there is no excuse. Talk is easy, I want to live what I preach.

The two good events are that I have met up with two dear friends that I have not seen in a while. I'm, despite my faults, a happy man.

A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20: Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." [Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"]

Ecumenical dialogue

Was at a meeting yesterday in a local ecumenical dialogue group discussing "Children and faith". Started with 6 cute kids from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints singing for us. Then people from different religious groups discussed their experiences and how we can bring up the kids in each belief system and still not exclude them from society. Very interesting and educational.

Being aware of what religious education and group pressure can do to people, I find it hard to draw a line between right and wrong in bringing up children. While I might have an opinion, I have no right to impose it on others. In a free society we have to have very good proof of harm before we interfere with families. So, more important than my personal opinion is the parents rights to raise and educate their own children the way they believe is right. I demand that right, so I have to grant it to others. Making that stand does of course not exclude me from critisising parents if I disagree with them.

What we seemed to agree on at the meeting was that children need to meet other children - cross the faiths. It's not a treat against their upbringing, but is more likely to male them more tolerant and stronger.

"Someone with a fresh mind, one not conditioned by upbringing and environment, would doubtless look at science and the powerful reductionism that it inspires as overwhelmingly the better mode of understanding the world, and would doubtless scorn religion as sentimental wishful thinking. Would not that same uncluttered mind also see the attempts to reconcile science and religion by disparaging the reduction of the complex to the simple as attempts guided by muddle-headed sentiment and intellectually dishonest emotion?" [P.W. Atkins, "The Limitless Power of Science" essay in "Nature's Imagination", John Cornwell, ed.; 1995 Oxford University Press, p.123]